Congratulations! You just found out you’re pregnant. You’re probably feeling insanely excited and scared (and nauseous!) all at the same time. But, when do you tell people?
Traditional: 10 to 12 weeks
A lot of people have advice, opinions, and suggestions about when you should tell family and friends, and even how you should announce your big news. The old rule of thumb is to wait 10 to 12 weeks – around the end of your first trimester – before you make it known that you are expecting a little one. Many women follow this age-old advice for certain reasons, but the traditional reason to wait is for the expecting parents to keep the information a secret in case they miscarry. Women have a higher likelihood of miscarrying during the first trimester than the next two. It’s heart-breaking to lose a child at any age, but it can often be hard for newly-grieving parents to be congratulated if something tragic happens.
One advantage of not telling anyone until you are out of your first trimester is that it’s your secret. Some parents want to bask in the newlywed stage of their pregnancy and so want to keep it just to themselves. Doing so can also give you time to think of cute ways to announce you’re pregnant to your friends and family!
Another reason many parents choose to keep their pregnancy to themselves at first is to prevent any issues at work. While discriminating against someone because they’re pregnant is against the law, some employers may unintentionally pass you over for a promotion if they think you’ll be gone soon, Parents.com noted. If you’re concerned about when you should tell your coworkers, talk to a professional mentor about what they suggest. In an op-ed for Forbes, Kat Griffin of fashion and lifestyle blog Corporette, suggested working moms and dads research their rights, come up with a solid plan for returning after the baby is born and wait as long as they feel comfortable.
Advantages of telling before 10 weeks
There’s no magic number of weeks you have to wait anymore to tell people you are expecting a child. Many couples are going the route of telling family and friends early on in their pregnancies, anywhere from posting a status on Facebook immediately after receiving confirmation from the doctor that the pregnancy test is positive to having a large announcement party at six weeks to right after the ultrasound at eight weeks.
There are a lot of benefits to telling people before your first trimester is finished: You don’t have to make excuses for abstaining from alcohol or feeling exhausted, and you can be honest to your employers or friends about why you might feel sick in the mornings. However, be careful about jumping the gun and spilling the beans as soon as you find out, as you might regret it later and wish you had waited.
Whatever you decide, make sure it is right for you and your baby.